LDS Scriptures and Quotes on Parenting

Good parenting, while very challenging at times, offers great potential for happiness. Parents can experience great joy by building a strong, loving home environment and teaching gospel principles, which can help their children lead righteous, happy, and productive lives. (See 3 John 1:4.  I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walkin truth.)

D&C 93:40 But I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth.

 D&C 68:25 And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents.

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1) Principle: Father (or mother, if there is not father in the home) is to be the spiritual leader in the family and is responsible for teaching the children.

Application: The father presides at family home evening, bears testimony to the family, studies the scriptures daily with them, is an example, conducts daily family prayer, presides at family councils, and honors his priesthood.

Scriptures: 

-1Nephi 1:1 I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days.

-1Nephi 16:23 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did make out of wood a bow, and out of a straight stick, an arrow; wherefore, I did arm myself with a bow and an arrow, with a sling and with stones. And I said unto my father: Whither shall I go to obtain food?

 24 And it came to pass that he did inquire of the Lord, for they had humbled themselves because of my words; for I did say many things unto them in the energy of my soul.

 25 And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came unto my father; and he was truly chastened because of his murmuring against the Lord, insomuch that he was brought down into the depths of sorrow.

 26 And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord said unto him: Look upon the ball, and behold the things which are written.

 27 And it came to pass that when my father beheld the things which were written upon the ball, he did fear and tremble exceedingly, and also my brethren and the sons of Ishmael and our wives.

2) Principle: Parental responsibility for both parents begins when the child is an infant; the role is eternal.

Application: A close, consistent relationship is necessary to develop a child’s trust in the parent.  Parents must never give up on a child, but continue to pray for, love, and bless him or her.

Scriptures:

- 2Nephi 4:5-6 5 But behold, my sons and my daughters, I cannot go down to my grave save I should leave a blessing upon you; for behold, I know that if ye are brought up in the way ye should go ye will not depart from it.

 6 Wherefore, if ye are cursed, behold, I leave my blessing upon you, that the cursing may be taken from you and be answered upon the heads of your parents.

-Alma 56:47-48 47 Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

 48 And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.

-Alma 27

3) Principle: A one-on-one relationship is crucial

Application: Hold personal interviews periodically.  Do things one-on-one so that each child has special moments with his or her parents.

Scriptures: 

-Alma 36-42 Alma speaks to his sons: Helaman, Shiblon, Corianton

4) Principle: Know each child as an individual.

Application: Find out what children at various developmental stages are capable of physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Don’t expect too much too soon.  Children must learn to trust a parent before they can trust themselves.

Scripture:

-3Nephi 26:9 And when they shall have received this, which is expedient that they should have first, to try their faith, and if it shall so be that they shall believe these things then shall the greater things be made manifest unto them.

5) Principle: Parents must be humble, teachable, and willing to admit mistakes and repent.

Application: Admit parental errors, misplaced blame, and harshness.  Ask for forgiveness.

Scriptures:

-Alma 36: Alma testifies to his son Helaman of his conversion after seeing an angel.

6) Principle: A child learns best when taught by example.

Application: Demonstrate your values about the Sabbath day, wholesome books and movies, education, self-control, honesty, respect for authority, etc.  Verbalize your beliefs and discuss them with your children.

Scriptures:

-3Nephi 27:21,27  21 Verily, verily, I say unto you, this is my gospel; and ye know the things that ye must do in my church; for the works which ye have seen me do that shall ye also do; for that which ye have seen me do even that shall ye do;

 27 And know ye that ye shall be judges of this people, according to the judgment which I shall give unto you, which shall be just. Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am.

- Alma 25:17 And now behold, Ammon, and Aaron, and Omner, and Himni, and their brethren did rejoice exceedingly, for the success which they had had among the Lamanites, seeing that the Lord had granted unto them according to their prayers, and that he had also verified his word unto them in every particular.

7) Principle: A child learns best through praise, positive reinforcement, and expressions of parental faith and trust.

Application: Trust your children to do well, and praise them when they do well.  If they fail, let them know that you are disappointed but that you still love them and are willing to let them try again.

Scriptures:

-3Nephi 27:30 30 And now, behold, my joy is great, even unto fulness, because of you, and also this generation; yea, and even the Father rejoiceth, and also all the holy angels, because of you and this generation; for none of them are lost.

-Helaman 10:5  5 And now, because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold, I will bless thee forever; and I will make thee mighty in word and in deed, in faith and in works; yea, even that all things shall be done unto thee according to thy word, for thou shalt not ask that which is contrary to my will.

-Enos 1:1-8   1 Behold, it came to pass that I, Enos, knowing my father that he was a just man—for he taught me in his language, and also in the nurture and admonition of the Lord—and blessed be the name of my God for it—

 2 And I will tell you of the wrestle which I had before God, before I received a remission of my sins.

 3 Behold, I went to hunt beasts in the forests; and the words which I had often heard my father speak concerning eternal life, and the joyof the saints, sunk deep into my heart.

 4 And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.

 5 And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.

 6 And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.

 7 And I said: Lord, how is it done?

 8 And he said unto me: Because of thy faith in Christ, whom thou hast never before heard nor seen. And many years pass away before he shall manifest himself in the flesh; wherefore, go to, thy faith hath made thee whole.

8) Principle: Correct the child when necessary, then show an abundance of love for him or her.

Application: Make sure your children know you love them, in spite of their mistakes.  Teach them about their potential as children of God.

Scriptures:

-Helaman 15:3- 3 Yea, wo unto this people who are called the people of Nephi except they shall repent, when they shall see all these signs and wonders which shall be showed unto them; for behold, they have been a chosen people of the Lord; yea, the people of Nephi hath he loved, and also hath he chastened them; yea, in the days of their iniquities hath he chastened them because he loveth them.

Ether 2:14- 14 And it came to pass at the end of four years that the Lord came again unto the brother of Jared, and stood in a cloud and talked with him. And for the space of three hours did the Lord talk with the brother of Jared, and chastened him because he remembered not to call upon the name of the Lord.

9) Principle: Set the rule and allow the natural consequences to follow.

Application: Set a rule together, discuss the consequences, then let the children use their agency to govern their behavior.  Resist saying “I told you so” or sparing the children the consequences altogether.

Scriptures:

-1Nephi 8:37-38 37 And he did exhort them then with all the feeling of a tender parent, that they would hearken to his words, that perhaps the Lord would be merciful to them, and not cast them off; yea, my father did preach unto them.

 38 And after he had preached unto them, and also prophesied unto them of many things, he bade them to keep the commandments of the Lord; and he did cease speaking unto them.

-Alma 30 Korihor ridicules Christ, demands sign, struck dumb

3 Nephi 27-16-20  16 And it shall come to pass, that whoso repenteth and is baptized in my name shall be filled; and if he endureth to the end, behold, him will I hold guiltless before my Father at that day when I shall stand to judge the world.

 17 And he that endureth not unto the end, the same is he that is also hewn down and cast into the fire, from whence they can no more return, because of the justice of the Father.

 18 And this is the word which he hath given unto the children of men. And for this cause he fulfilleth the words which he hath given, and he lieth not, but fulfilleth all his words.

 19 And no unclean thing can enter into his kingdom; therefore nothing entereth into his rest save it be those who have washed their garments in my blood, because of their faith, and the repentance of all their sins, and their faithfulness unto the end.

 20 Now this is the commandment: Repent, all ye ends of the earth, and come unto me and be baptized in my name, that ye may be sanctified by the reception of the Holy Ghost, that ye may stand spotless before me at the last day.

-Ether 3:19,26  19 And because of the knowledge of this man he could not be kept from beholding within the veil; and he saw the finger of Jesus, which, when he saw, he fell with fear; for he knew that it was the finger of the Lord; and he had faith no longer, for he knew, nothing doubting.

10) Principle: Teach children to pray

Application: Allow children to make small decisions in early childhood to develop confidence and wisdom.  As they grow older, they can make more important decisions.

Scriptures:

-Alma 24:12-18 12 Now, my best beloved brethren, since God hath taken away our stains, and our swords have become bright, then let us stain our swords no more with the blood of our brethren.

 13 Behold, I say unto you, Nay, let us retain our swords that they be not stained with the blood of our brethren; for perhaps, if we should stain our swords again they can no more be washed bright through the blood of the Son of our great God, which shall be shed for the atonement of our sins.

 14 And the great God has had mercy on us, and made these things known unto us that we might not perish; yea, and he has made these things known unto us beforehand, because he loveth our souls as well as he loveth our children; therefore, in his mercy he doth visit us by his angels, that the plan of salvation might be made known unto us as well as unto future generations.

 15 Oh, how merciful is our God! And now behold, since it has been as much as we could do to get our stains taken away from us, and our swords are made bright, let us hide them away that they may be kept bright, as a testimony to our God at the last day, or at the day that we shall be brought to stand before him to be judged, that we have not stained our swords in the blood of our brethren since he imparted his word unto us and has made us clean thereby.

 16 And now, my brethren, if our brethren seek to destroy us, behold, we will hide away our swords, yea, even we will bury them deep in the earth, that they may be kept bright, as a testimony that we have never used them, at the last day; and if our brethren destroy us, behold, we shall go to our God and shall be saved.

 17 And now it came to pass that when the king had made an end of these sayings, and all the people were assembled together, they took their swords, and all the weapons which were used for the shedding of man’s blood, and they did bury them up deep in the earth.

 18 And this they did, it being in their view a testimony to God, and also to men, that they never would use weapons again for the shedding of man’s blood; and this they did, vouching and covenanting with God, that rather than shed the blood of their brethren they would give up their own lives; and rather than take away from a brother they would give unto him; and rather than spend their days in idleness they would labor abundantly with their hands.

-Helaman 14:30-31 30 And now remember, remember, my brethren, that whosoever perisheth, perisheth unto himself; and whosoever doeth iniquity, doeth it unto himself; for behold, ye are free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves; for behold, God hath given unto you a knowledge and he hath made you free.

 31 He hath given unto you that ye might know good from evil, and he hath given unto you that ye might choose life or death; and ye can do good and be restored unto that which is good, or have that which is good restored unto you; or ye can do evil, and have that which is evil restored unto you.

11) Principle: Listen, listen, listen! Don’t be quick to advise or condemn.

Application: Things are not always what they appear to be.  Give children the benefit of the doubt and don’t assume the worst.  Children often need someone to listen while they talk through their problems.  Don’t be too quick to give help; rather, help them determine a solution.

Scriptures:

-Alma 20 (negative example of fathering) Ammon speaks to Lamoni to release his brothers.

12) Principle: Discipline is necessary.  It should be tailored to the needs of each child.

Application: Methods of discipline are tailored to each child: Separate an offender from others by placing the child in a “time-out” area; have the child remain at home, away from negative influences, where mother or father can give support in making decisions; have the child work alongside a brother or sister with whom he or she has been fighting; role-play to resolve disagreements.

Scriptures:

-Mosiah 26:25-36 25 And it shall come to pass that when the second trump shall sound then shall they that never knew me come forth and shall stand before me.

 26 And then shall they know that I am the Lord their God, that I am their Redeemer; but they would not be redeemed.

 27 And then I will confess unto them that I never knew them; and they shall depart into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels.

 28 Therefore I say unto you, that he that will not hear my voice, the same shall ye not receive into my church, for him I will not receive at the last day.

 29 Therefore I say unto you, Go; and whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge according to the sins which he has committed; and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also.

 30 Yea, and as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me.

 31 And ye shall also forgive one another your trespasses; for verily I say unto you, he that forgiveth not his neighbor’s trespasses when he says that he repents, the same hath brought himself under condemnation.

 32 Now I say unto you, Go; and whosoever will not repent of his sins the same shall not be numbered among my people; and this shall be observed from this time forward.

 33 And it came to pass when Alma had heard these words he wrote them down that he might have them, and that he might judge the people of that church according to the commandments of God.

 34 And it came to pass that Alma went and judged those that had been taken in iniquity, according to the word of the Lord.

 35 And whosoever repented of their sins and did confess them, them he did number among the people of the church;

 36 And those that would not confess their sins and repent of their iniquity, the same were not numbered among the people of the church, and their names were blotted out.

-Alma 30:43-53 43 And now Korihor said unto Alma: If thou wilt show me a sign, that I may be convinced that there is a God, yea, show unto me that he hath power, and then will I be convinced of the truth of thy words.

 44 But Alma said unto him: Thou hast had signs enough; will ye tempt your God? Will ye say, Show unto me a sign, when ye have the testimony of all these thy brethren, and also all the holy prophets? The scriptures are laid before thee, yea, and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator.

 45 And yet do ye go about, leading away the hearts of this people, testifying unto them there is no God? And yet will ye deny against all these witnesses? And he said: Yea, I will deny, except ye shall show me a sign.

 46 And now it came to pass that Alma said unto him: Behold, I am grieved because of the hardness of your heart, yea, that ye will still resist the spirit of the truth, that thy soul may be destroyed.

 47 But behold, it is better that thy soul should be lost than that thou shouldst be the means of bringing many souls down to destruction, by thy lying and by thy flattering words; therefore if thou shalt deny again, behold God shall smite thee, that thou shalt become dumb, that thou shalt never open thy mouth any more, that thou shalt not deceive this people any more.

 48 Now Korihor said unto him: I do not deny the existence of a God, but I do not believe that there is a God; and I say also, that ye do not know that there is a God; and except ye show me a sign, I will not believe.

 49 Now Alma said unto him: This will I give unto thee for a sign, that thou shalt be struck dumb, according to my words; and I say, that in the name of God, ye shall be struck dumb, that ye shall no more have utterance.

 50 Now when Alma had said these words, Korihor was struck dumb, that he could not have utterance, according to the words of Alma.

 51 And now when the chief judge saw this, he put forth his hand and wrote unto Korihor, saying: Art thou convinced of the power of God? In whom did ye desire that Alma should show forth his sign? Would ye that he should afflict others, to show unto thee a sign? Behold, he has showed unto you a sign; and now will ye dispute more?

 52 And Korihor put forth his hand and wrote, saying: I know that I am dumb, for I cannot speak; and I know that nothing save it were the power of God could bring this upon me; yea, and I always knew that there was a God.

 53 But behold, the devil hath deceived me; for he appeared unto me in the form of an angel, and said unto me: Go and reclaim this people, for they have all gone astray after an unknown God. And he said unto me: There is no God; yea, and he taught me that which I should say. And I have taught his words; and I taught them because they were pleasing unto the carnal mind; and I taught them, even until I had much success, insomuch that I verily believed that they were true; and for this cause I withstood the truth, even until I have brought this great curse upon me.

-Mosiah 4:14-15 14 And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness.

 15 But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.

13) Principle: Teach children to love work and serve others.

Application: Children need to serve one another and the family to feel worthwhile.

Scriptures:

-Mosiah 4:15-16  15 But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.

 16 And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.

-Mosiah 6:6-7 6 And it came to pass that king Mosiah did walk in the ways of the Lord, and did observe his judgments and his statutes, and did keep his commandments in all things whatsoever he commanded him.

 7 And king Mosiah did cause his people that they should till the earth. And he also, himself, did till the earth, that thereby he might not become burdensome to his people, that he might do according to that which his father had done in all things. And there was no contention among all his people for the space of three years.

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-Children abandoning parents’ beliefs:  “Now it came to pass that there were many of the rising generation that could not understand the words of kind Benjamin, being little children at the time he spake unto his people; and they did not believe the tradition of their fathers…and now because of their unbelief they could not understand the word of God; and their hearts were hardended… and they were a separate people…and would not call upon the Lord their God” (Mos 26:1-4).

-Teach children the gospel:  “And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living god, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents…And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord” (D&C 68:25, 28).

-Lost children return:  Pres. Boyd K. Packer said that we could count on the promises of the prophets—that though our children may seem lost today, they are not permanently lost.  If they are sealed to us in the temple, and if we keep our temple covenants, they will return after they have received the Lord’s correction

-Gospel changes behavior:  Pres. Boyd K. Packer reminded the Saints in three different general conferences that “true doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior.  The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.”

-Personal Sanctification:  In accomplishing our mission, we do not have to create a plan of salvation; we simply need to increase our spiritual capacity to better participate in God’s plan, as He reveals it to us.  The gospel teaches us this powerful truth: every effort that we make to increase our own level of sanctification has a direct redeeming effect on those for whom we are praying.

-We are not alone:  “And it came to pass that while he was journeying thither, (Alma was) weighed down with sorrow, wading through much tribulation and anguish of soul, because of the wickedness of the people” (Alma 8:14).  Then comes the lesson—“It came to pass while Alma was thus weighed down with sorrow, behold an angel of the Lord appeared unto him” (Alma 8:14-18).  Alma was not alone!

-The tight groupings of the stories comprising of chapters 27 and 28 of Mosiah and chapters 17-23 of Alma, seems to indicate that Mormon was trying to add evidence in support of at least two gospel messages:

1. No one, absolutely no one, is beyond the redemptive reach of the Savior.

2. Every son and daughter of God will be presented with the full truth and given a clear choice.

-Conversion cycle:  It begins with facing temptation and adversity, both of which are designed to cause us to be humble, which humility invites the Lord to feel after us, which brings us to the crossroads of decision, which, if we accept, brings healing of the soul.  “And after their temptations, and much tribulation, behold, I, the Lord, will feel after them, and if they harden not their hearts, and stiffen not their necks against me, they shall be converted, and I will heal them” (Alma 32:12-16).

-Reintroduce gospel principles:  D&C 93:39- “The wicked one cometh and taketh away light and truth, through disobedience.”  Their disobedience and disregard for repentance had opened the door for Satan to come and take away their light and truth.  Center your prayers on asking for opportunities to reintroduce basic gospel concepts to your children with the hope that they will one day remember and respond.

-Christ finds children:  “Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me; and none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost” (DC 50:40-42).  Is our child one of those whom the Father has given to the Son?

-Jesus grasps children:  “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.  My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand” (John 10:28-29).  No one can take our children from Jesus, and our children simply cannot break free from the Savior’s embrace.  The Father gave them to Him, and Jesus holds them in His hands as pearls of great price. 

-Trust God’s timing:  To trust God is to trust God’s timing.  God’s timing is an act of mercy: God might determine to snatch a wayward child from further harm because He knows that the child will now respond favorably; or God might wait while He patiently works with a wayward child because he knows that the child is not ready yet.  As Mormon instructed Moroni, our obligation is to continue reaching out no matter how hopeless the situation may seem (Moroni 9:6).

-Teach them diligently:  “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” (Deut. 6:6-7).

-Lord qualifies parents:  Desire qualifies parents for the work.  “Now behold, a marvelous work is about to come forth among the children of men (occur in your family).  Therefore, O ye (parents) that embark in the service of god, see that serve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength, that ye may stand blameless before god at the last day” (DC 4:1-7).

-Bear testimony:  The fact of the matter is (children) are not only hearing our testimony of Christ, but they are hearing echoes of other, earlier testimonies, including their own testimony of Him…We should bear frequent and powerful testimony of Christ as Savior, as Redeemer…because doing so invites…the divine power of testimony borne by God the Father and by the Holy Ghost, a testimony borne on wings of fire to the very hearts of (children) (3 Ne 11:35-36, 39).

-Becoming Saviors:  If you succeed in passing through these trials and afflictions and receive a resurrection, you will, by the power of the Priesthood, work and labor, as the Son of God has, until you get all yours sons and daughters in the path of exaltation and glory.  This is just as sure as that the sun rose this morning over yonder mountains.  Therefore, mourn not because all your sons and daughters do not follow in the path that you have marked out to them, or give heed to your counsels.  Inasmuch as we succeed in securing eternal glory, and stand as saviors, and as kings and priests to our God, we will save our posterity” (Lorenzo Snow, The Teachings of Lorenzo Snow, 195).

-Pray, hope, and hold on: “Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God” (Orson F. Whitney, Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley, 54).